bay-bee

last night my sister brought forth her er, fourth child. she is not anything like my other sister i talked about in a previous post. this one has a husband, now 4 kids, a house a degree. she's set.
usually having a baby is an event to be celebrated but in my case i just can't bring myself to visiting her and congratulating her. last time we talked was through e-mail and her and her husband made their thoughts on me quite clear. they still think i am a porn-addicted, christian hating, unreliable threat to their children. what caused this you may ask? i looked up porn on their computer 10 years ago (yes, 10 years) and it has never been forgotten. never mind the fact that i pretty much single handidly took care of our mother while she battled cancer at the same time as working and going to school. nope. that's does mean shit. i could go on about their reasons but suffice it to say 4 things in the matter of 10 years have deemed me a negative influence on people. their loss i have finally decided.
but with an attitude like that the christmas holidays become a difficult time. not everyone is happy this time of year, trust me.
i like to think i could be the bigger person and just see their new child and smile and say the right words. but why does the person who was hurt always have to be the bigger person? have to let things slide?
the older i get the more i realize that i know just as much as the baby born yesterday about life.